


I'm Your Captain

by DedicatedDetectives



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F, Rolivia, in my dreams lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 10:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21052655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DedicatedDetectives/pseuds/DedicatedDetectives
Summary: Olivia becomes captain, and neither she nor Amanda expected that things would change in the way they did.





	I'm Your Captain

**Author's Note:**

> SVU *dabs* but make it gay.
> 
> Olivia and Amanda are absolute sweethearts. This needs to happen. (In my dreams!!)
> 
> I do not own these characters; they belong to the lovely SVU writers.
> 
> If there are mistakes in here, then, welp, I apologize. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!

Lingering touches, eye contact that was either intense or endearingly casual, loud laughs and ducked smiles-- Amanda noticed it all. 

She had always been fond of Olivia, and they had been close for years. Their work relationship turned to friendship, and the two of them just clicked. But over the past few months, Amanda started to realize that some things might not be as casual as Olivia acts like they are.

Amanda had to admit to herself that she has had feelings for Olivia for a while now. For a long while. So, naturally, Amanda always wanted to be there for her. She always wanted to talk to her, and she always wanted to touch Olivia casually, just to test the waters a bit. But Olivia looking down at the touch was a new development. And Amanda always tried to make Olivia laugh, or at least smile, especially if the older woman was feeling down. But Olivia has been laughing a lot lately. Not with Fin, though. Just with her. It reminded her of how she used to act with Rafael. Amanda almost wanted to shut that thought down before she could really think about its implications. And it wasn't just the laughing, either. Amanda found Olivia smiling at her much more often, much to Amanda's delight. And nothing made Amanda smile like when Olivia would duck her head and smile after something Amanda had said. It was a beautiful sight, sure, but was it-- dare she even think-- flirting?

Amanda physically shook her head to dismiss the thought and went back to her work. She tried not to get her hopes up, but she did take note of everything that happened. And she was fairly sure she was being unbiased in her judgement that Olivia's actions were bordering flirting.

It was all she could think about while sitting on the couch next to Olivia, the two sipping red wine. Olivia had invited Jesse and Billie over for a sleepover with Noah, which wasn't totally unusual. They both loved seeing their kids happily interact with each other, and Amanda admittedly loved having that break. A mother of two young ones, she tended to be exhausted. But she didn't feel tired sitting next to Olivia, because instead of Olivia saying goodbye to Amanda after the kids went to sleep and telling her to get some rest, she quickly went for the wine bottle and asked Amanda to stay.

Olivia was definitely enjoying the wine, and Amanda smiled at the fact that Olivia was getting a little tipsy, laughing at much of what Amanda said. Amanda started to wonder if this could be a time to further test the waters, push the boundaries just a tiny bit. This had to mean something, right?

Olivia laughed at something Amanda said and lightly set her hand on Amanda's shoulder. Amanda stared intently as Olivia's hand descended towards the couch in between them, her fingertips brushing the back of Amanda's resting hand. Amanda's heart beat flew. All she could do was continue to stare as Olivia, seemingly thinking hard, lifted her hand a bit before changing her mind and putting it back down, covering Amanda's entirely. Amanda watched Olivia's reaction while she reciprocated the touch, intertwining their fingers together. She was rewarded with a duck of the head and a smile. Her heart fluttered. What was this woman doing to her?

Amanda didn't know what to do next, so she just picked something to try. She might as well take a stab at it, and if it didn't work, she could try something else. Olivia's guard was down a bit, after all.

"Liv, can I ask you something?" Amanda said.

"Of course," Olivia smiled slightly.

"Are you seeing anyone?"

Olivia paused. "Uh. Not- not really. I mean, no. Why?'

"Well," Amanda laughed lightly, but Olivia cut her off.

"Is it time for girl talk?" Olivia asked. "Or are you trying to set me up?"

Oh. "No," Amanda laughed nervously. "I'm not. I was just wondering. You've seemed happier at work recently."

"Just happy to have my squad," Olivia said vaguely. 

"I know," Amanda started, "Captain. I never got to formally congratulate you. So, congratulations." 

"Thank you," Olivia smiled.

Amanda leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her. Olivia returned the hug, tightly. Amanda pulled away, but stayed close to Olivia.

"Has the change in rank made you see things in a new light?" Amanda lightly pushed.

"I mean, of course. I'm always getting new perspectives into the cases and--"

"What about me?" Amanda interrupted.

"What about you?" Olivia said, looking down.

"Well, it just seems, Liv, like you've been nicer to me recently." She winked at Olivia when their gazes met. "Like you, um, enjoy havin' me around more."

Olivia didn't reply, so Amanda kept going. 

"You smile a lot. Uh, at me," Amanda wrung her hands together, but she didn't drop her gaze from Olivia's face. "You've been laughing more. We've been eating meals together more often, because, you know, you ask me."

There was a pause. Amanda placed a hand on Olivia's arm.

"And you don't seem to mind whenever I touch you, even at work," Amanda continued. "And sometimes you touch me, too. And don't move away when I hold your hand," she said, referring to only a few moments prior. "And if that's something you want, I will happily continue. You know, me touching you. You touching me--"

"Stop." Olivia's sudden reply was jarring, and she knew it by the look in Amanda's eyes. "You have to stop."

"I'm sorry," Amanda scooted back on the couch. "Liv, I'm sorry if I misinterpreted anything, or..."

"This isn't appropriate," Olivia replied, looking down again. Her voice was firm, though.

Amanda took a chance. "What are you feeling, though?" And when Olivia didn't reply, "Can't you at least tell me what you're thinking?"

"I'm your captain," Olivia said. "And this can't go on."

"What can't?" Amanda asked. "This conversation?"

"That," Olivia said, "and... everything else."

"So this was something. Something was going on here," Amanda said.

"Stop, Amanda. I'm sorry."

"No, c'mon, Liv. Would it kill you to tell me your feelings? To give me anything?" She received no reply. Amanda bit her lip. "Do you have feelings for me, Olivia?"

Olivia's eyes snapped up to meet hers. "I'm your captain, and I can't abuse my power."

Amanda's heart skipped a beat. She didn't say no. She might have actually been onto something.

"How would it be different?" Amanda whispered. "How would it be different from things you've done in the past? David... Rafael..."

"No, we were just friends," she insisted. "And as for David, you saw how that went. That was more of a cautionary tale than anything else."

"What about..." Amanda wasn't sure if she should say it. "Did you really never have feelings for Elliot?"

Olivia sharply looked away. "That has nothing to do with this," she said. "I'm your captain, and--"

"I know," sighed Amanda, "but I think we both know that this isn't new. It isn't new for me, anyway." Olivia looked at her, then dropped her face into her hands. "I've cared about you for so long, Olivia. And I think you know that. Whatever this is," she gestured around, "if you feel it too, it isn't going to just go away."

Olivia lifted her head and reached for her wine glass, gulping until it was gone. 

"Hey, hey," Amanda said, reaching for Olivia's hand again. Olivia didn't pull away. "It's okay. This is normal. Feelings are normal." She placed her other hand on Olivia's knee. "I can leave if you want me to," Amanda said. "Or, whenever you're ready, I can be the person that takes care of you once you get home. I can try to be that person you deserve. You don't need to go through anything alone. I promise you have me."

"It won't work," Olivia said, staring at the ground. "It isn't you, it's--"

"Hey, you like me, at least a little bit, right?" Amanda said. "Nothing needs to be decided right now. But... what... what if we..."

She lifted her hand from Olivia's knee, reaching for her cheek. Olivia let her turn her face towards her.

"We can go back and pretend it never happened," Amanda said, eyes moving up, down, and around Olivia's face, searching. "But right now, we can... try."

Amanda looked at Olivia's lips, then up at her eyes. Olivia made no sign of wanting to move away. Amanda stroked her thumb on Olivia's cheek and watched her eyes flutter briefly.

"Would it... Would it really kill you if we kissed?" Amanda asked with a light chuckle. "I can almost promise it wouldn't, Liv." She paused briefly. "I just need you to tell me you don't want me to move away." There was a pause. "Liv?"

Olivia nodded, and Amanda didn't miss a second before leaning in. The connection they had was unmistakable in their kiss. The first one, and the second, and the third... Amanda's hands were in Olivia's hair, stroking and feeling shocked and honestly, honored, that Olivia was letting her of all people do this. She wanted to at least try. Her heart pounded.

When she tentatively pulled away, Amanda saw tears in Olivia's eyes.

"Liv?" Amanda asked, panicked.

"I think," Olivia took a deep breath. "I think we need to try to find a way to make this work, Amanda."

"Oh my god!" Amanda nearly shouted with a smile before leaning in and happily pecking Olivia again. Olivia laughed, so happy.

"Oh, Olivia Benson," Amanda said with a mischievous smile. "You better get ready, because for as long as you'll have me, I'm going to girlfriend you soo hard."

"Mmm, girlfriend, huh?" Olivia leaned in again, and this time, neither pulled away.


End file.
